|
|
1. What sound does an urchin make?
the urchin makes a sound sort of like the sound your
stomach makes after eating a take-out order of some
General Tso's chicken, scallion pancakes, and a little
shumai appetizer. it's that kind of thing. you know, your
head hurts a bit, you can really feel all the bubbling
throughout your body, a bit water-loggy like you just
spent the day at grandma's pool diving for pennies - you
know - and then you go home and have a great night's
sleep, like the best ever, and you feel like the bed is
riding the waves like the raft, and you can just ride all
night. kinda like tetris dreams, but water, yeah, that's
the sound.
2. If I am the best and Dean Ween says you're "the
second greatest band in rock today" what does that
make Ween?
ha ha ha, that is totally f'd up, i never looked
at it that way. that makes the listener of our album dean
ween's first greatest band, or first greatest person,
right??? and it makes us the second greatest no matter
who is the best, right??? i wonder if he knows of this
cryptic game that our album cover holds. i guess that
makes dean ween the great decider of things, maybe
somewhat of an all-knowing type... he knows who's the
best and who is second best, and that is a real talent,
not everyone knows these things, maybe regis holds this
kind of court, or sir sting, but not many. i believe
that.
3. How is it you have two songs about alligators when
most bands aren't clever enough to even write one?
maybe more people should write songs about alligators, i
guess they are all missing the importance of the gator. i
mean, we've all seen alligators, they lay there all still
in the zoo, like rocks, for the whole day, and you never
see one move the whole day, except when the guy comes
with a snack for em, then they attack and go back to
acting like a rock. even one bad kid throws a rock at em
and they still don't move. also, they are our glimpse of
what a little dinosaur might be like today... and we all
like dinosaurs, no one likes things that are new, we all
like old shit, like dinosaurs. we all look to the past
when we should be concentrating on the future. that's why
we shouldn't bring the 80's back, it really wasn't that
much fun, watch a family ties episode on nick at nite,
you'll see, nothing fun about that. keep on moving
forward please, but keep an eye on the gator.
4. If you were having a Rock N' Roll Jubilee and Perry
Farrell had a Happy Birthday Jubilee down the block which
would the cops break up first?
they'd probably break up our jubilee first, because even
though they know what perry's crew is probably up to at
his jubilee, it's still perry, and you don't fuck with
perry. and what balls would we have to set up our jubilee
on the same day as perry's anyway??? we would probably
call the cops on ourselves and then go over to perry's
jubilee, because where we would be passing the blue
plastic cups from the keg of bud at ours, perry would be
passing the Dom Perignon, flutes and tambourines - and
that's where we would want to be.
5. Is your relationship with Jack Black more like Thelma
& Louise or Batman & Robin and why?
to be honest, i'd say it's more like a mr. miyagi/daniel
son kind of thing. jack has spent hours upon hours of
unselfish time teaching us what it really means to be in
a rock n roll band, kind of like the rigorous training
that miyagi put the young daniel through. before our gigs
opening for the d, jb has made us perform certain
specially designed exercises which have made us stronger
as rockers, really, able to make it through the high
energy, high decibel rock sets that the d demand from
their opening band. the pre-gig exercises consist of
first applying the deodorant to our bodies - making sure
that even though we cover every area of our bodies which
might produce some sort of odor, we absolutely cannot get
any spots of deodorant white on our black gig outfits,
causing unwanted "scuffage" or
"spotting". after the deodorant ritual is
accomplished, and the gig outfits are on, we are all
required to give ourselves dutch ovens by releasing the
gas and pulling the gig outfits over our heads, and
holding out for the duration, until all is gone. then we
go on stage, ready for whatever the rock n roll gods have
in store for us and give them the gifts and offerings
that they have come to expect.
|